Yesterday I went by one of the colleges I'll be teaching at next semester to pick up my books. I was a little concerned about how I was going to feel about returning to the campus since I haven't been there in about a year or so. I gave up teaching for awhile in order to devote my time to my dissertation, and actually, this particular school hasn't been the nicest place sometimes. My last few trips there I rememeber have that "pit in your stomach" feeling. But this trip was a good one, and it reminded of one of the reasons I enjoy teaching: I like being a student, and one way of being a student is to teach.
School has normally been a good place for me. When I was young, I remember going to the local five and dime a week or so before school started and buying a new pencil box and all the goodies that went along with it: new pens, pencils, notebooks, reams of paper, and so on. Preparing for the big day was always exciting.
As I hauled an un-Godly number of books to my car, that's sort of how I felt, like I had my new pencil box in my hands. No icky feeling in my stomach was there. I even ran into a few faculty members, and they all called me "Dr." and as usual were super nice and friendly to me. The stress has at least gone away for awhile. The books are old friends of mine from many, many semesters of teaching the same classes. I can do this thing, even if I'm juggling a million other things.