I Wana Be JJill

I love looking through the JJill catalog and dreaming of being 120 lbs and 5' 8". All the models in that catalog look so tall and lean, and of course, I like most of the clothes though I usually can only afford to buy an occassional t-shirt from there (on sale of course).

The latest catalog came about the same time I found out that the due dates for defending my dissertation are much sooner than I had expected. I was hoping to get a few pounds off by December, imagining myself gliding like a tiny winged fairy down the hall to be handed my diploma by some oger in a black robe.

But this degree requires that I stand up in front of a bunch of people (public invited even) and talk about how wonderful and brilliant my research has been, how I'm doing groundbreaking academic work that will change the face of the world as we know it today.

After my experience presenting the proposal for this dissertation, I know a little of what to expect:

• First of all, the conference room will be located about 300 miles away from where I have to park. This will be after driving 2 1/2 hours to actually get to the campus.
• Once I make it to the room, I will be a puddle of sweat and wrinkles, yes, even in Oct. or Nov. because this is Florida and I will be very (very) nervous.
• Next, I'll need to set up my laptop, which of course will not work, and eventually, I'll have to turn to plan B and use the hand-outs, which I had lugged across campus along with my laptop.
• Finally, I will give my presentation, talking way faster than I had anticipated and breathing heavily and sweating more, and I'll be asked a few questions that I can answer and a few that I will have no clue how to answer.

At this point, I have my draft finished and a lot of technical stuff to do to make sure it is formatted correctly and forms are filled out on time and such, but I can't help but consider, being the girly-girl that I am: What is a fat girl supposed to wear to a dissertation defense?

I will defnitely have to go shopping, which is going to suck. Hopefully, I'll get a few pounds off and at least down to the next size (which is still way bigger than I should be) by the time I have to hit the dreaded mall.

I'll be thinking of this while I go for a morning walk.