Mulling Over Birthday Party Strategies

So I'm thinking about how I'm going to handle this Saturday at the big birthday party of my soon to be 4 year old nephew. Planning is really important for me when it comes to stuff like this. If I don't have some kind of plan, then I totally fall apart when I go to stuff like this. And, I know my sister will have some great food there because she's a wonderful cook. She even blogs about food.

Here are some things I'm thinking of trying:

• The real food won't show up until about 1 or 1:30pm, so I'm thinking of eating a high protein breakfast. Maybe a few eggs with some fat free cheese.
• I love to munch while driving. In fact, much of this weight came from my 2+ hour commute to school over the past few years. Thus, I thought of bringing some grapes for the ride there, and maybe the way back too.
• Another way to help the time go by while driving and stay distracted is a book on tape. I picked one up today, some comedian thing, but I may get another one just in case that one isn't as funny as it claims.
• Eat a very small piece of cake. Yes, it is a birthday, so I have to have cake, but that doesn't mean I need a huge piece with ice cream on the side. A few bites...a few bites...keep telling myself that.
• Fill up on veggie snacks and fruit. I know she'll have chips, dip, and a veggie plate and she also mentioned fruit. If I stay with the fruit and vegies I can still snack like everyone else. I just have to watch the chips and dip, which I can easily make a meal out of.

Hopefully, I'll think of more, but this is a start.

Why I'm Fat

Yippy for Crochet!

It seems to be working, and honestly, I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed it. For the past 2 nights, I've picked up a skein of yarn rather than a bowl of pop corn, and it has helped curb my eating tremendously. If I do eat or drink anything, I wait until about 10 and maybe have a glass of wine and a bag of 100 calorie crackers, but I'm still staying well below my 1500 cal mark even with those.

On the down side, my fingers are getting more of a work out than usual since I'm often either typing all day and/or making jewelry, and I'm trying to explain to one of my dogs (Rocky, aka Boo-Boo) that a skein or ball of yarn is not a dog toy. But both are issues I think I can deal with.

I did splurge yesterday and went to Wally-World for some yarn, and I even bought a little book on making crochet purses, which I'm sure I'll never have time to do. I was a tad disappointed at the selection (or lack of) at W. I remember years ago they used to have a whole long wall full of yarn. Now, my local W is down to one short isle.

Along with crocheting instead of munching, my other strategy is to give C. a quick call around 8pm. This is my danger-zone time, and she also needs a pick me up around then herself, so it's a good way to help us both out and keep us on track for the evening. Last night, she was dining on fish and broccoli and had saved an apple for later that evening when her husband came home for his late dinner (since he had to work that night).

Hopefully, I can keep this up. I'm attending a birthday party on Saturday, so I'm worried about that, but I'm already starting to plan a little. I wonder if anyone will notice me sitting in a corner crocheting?

Fatand40 Gets Press Coverage

Thanks to Hsien-Hsien Lei, PhD for featuring moi in A Hearty Life: Hearty Habits #11: Fat and 40

It feels weird that Fat and 40 me is in there, but if you read the rest of the info on this post, I guess I must be doing a little something right.

Lei posts tips now every Tuesday and Thursday, so sign up for her RSS feed or just remember to stop by regularly for some tips for keeping your heart healthy.

Learn to Crochet

I haven't posted in a while because basically, things have not been going well. And, as a result, I just got really frustrted and angry with myself. Now, it's not like I'm sitting down to a pint of ice cream every night, but it just boils down to lack of self control and eating when I don't need to do so.

I'm great during the day. The protein bars are good for keeping me until lunch. Even today, I managed to hold off and have a later than usual lunch. And, I'm walking again and eating fruits and vegies, but then by about 8pm that all goes out the window.

It starts, usually, with a glass of wine. Then some pop corn (air dried). Then maybe a few low-fat, low-cal crackers. Oh, yes, another glass of wine would be nice and so would a piece of cheese. Then next thing you know, I've racked up 400 or more caloires and honestly, I'm not eating because I'm hungry. I'm eating because it feels good after working all day to sit on my bum and munch and drink wine.

I wake up the next day totally pissed at myself for doing this and not an ounce lighter.

I called C. today and talked with her about it, and she is having similar problems only she is exercising like a maniac, so this makes her hungry. But eating when you are hungry makes sense. Eating just to eat does not.

For herself, she turned back to her food journal and realized she wasn't eating as much fish (which is loaded with protein) and a few other items that she, for whatever reason, hadn't been eating in awhile, so she's going to try adding those back to her diet.

She assumed at first that I too was hungry because usually by 8pm, my calorie count is pretty low, like anywhere from 1000 to 1400 at the most. But I'm not as active as she is. I sit all day typing and go for one 30 minute walk. That is just not the same as going to an aerobics class in the morning and then playing racket ball in the afternoon.

But, C. did come up with something that may help - crochet.

I basically need something to occupy myself when I'm relaxing in front the TV, but it can't be something too involved because I am pretty tired usually after working all day (who isn't, right?) I make jewelry and bead for a living and write about it, but that is the kind of thing that I need to pay attention to when I'm doing it. Crochet just takes a big hook and a roll of yarn and then I'm good to go.

I'm going to try it tonight. If it is successful, I may brave the Waly-World crowd tomorrow and splurge on some nice yarn.

Maybe I'll start a new diet trend - The Afghan Diet: Crochet Your Way to a Thinner You.

Powerful Bars

I've been using the power bars, in particular I like Pria bars, and so far, so good. For breakfast, they work really well because they keep me full until lunch. This is even true after my morning walk, which is amazing because I'm usually starving since it's about 100 degrees outside right now.

Yesterday, I had one in the morning for breakfast and it really kept me until a 1pm lunch. Then I had one around 5 or so (along with some grapes), and that gave me enough energy to go for a walk in the evening (since I couldn't take one that morning).

A few things to keep in mind, though, for anyone thinking of giving these a try. First, make sure you drink a lot of water or similar liquids. I eat one for breakfast and drink a small pot of black tea with it and then also at least a large glass of water after that. This helps keep you full also and from having any possible stomache problems, which leads me to the next issue with these guys, bathroom time, and a fair amount of it. And, I don't just mean a number 1, if you know what I mean. This is also one reason I try not to eat one after 5pm.

I prefer the Pria because they taste good, but they also have fewer calories than most of the other protein bars I've found. Of course, there's a trade off because they also have less protein (5g) than these bars too. If I were a body builder, this might be more of an issue for me. But, I'm using these for weight loss (hopefully), and I'm also interested in addng more protein to my diet because I don't eat much meat.

Two Months

I had lunch with C. yesterday at Crispers, and told her my issue about how the disseration defense is going to be a few months sooner than I had expected. Luckily, on the writing front, I'm in good shape. On the fat front, well, my shape is pretty much the same.

She agreed that there was no way, short of lipo, that I'd lose the original weight I had in mind (about 30 lbs) in just a few months. However, she thinks I could lose 10 lbs by early October, and so that's my new goal, at least for now. Basically, I'm going to try to stay around 1500 calories for the next 8 weeks with the hope of losing around 1lb a week.

Since getting sick, I'm starting from scratch yet again, but I think this is a goal I can manage. And, while I'd love to be 30lbs lighter, 10lbs will make a huge difference in how I feel and look.

Along with getting back on the food track, I'm walking again, which also feels like starting all over again, but at least, I'm starting to get the habit back.

Another good tip from C. is on the outfit I should wear. She suggested I head to Chicos because they have a lot of non-wrinkle wear that is "forgiving" as she kindly put it. So, we plan a shopping trip at the end of September.

The lunch ended in sort of a blood-sister pact without the blood where we both are going to shoot for 1500 calories over the next 8 weeks.

I Wana Be JJill

I love looking through the JJill catalog and dreaming of being 120 lbs and 5' 8". All the models in that catalog look so tall and lean, and of course, I like most of the clothes though I usually can only afford to buy an occassional t-shirt from there (on sale of course).

The latest catalog came about the same time I found out that the due dates for defending my dissertation are much sooner than I had expected. I was hoping to get a few pounds off by December, imagining myself gliding like a tiny winged fairy down the hall to be handed my diploma by some oger in a black robe.

But this degree requires that I stand up in front of a bunch of people (public invited even) and talk about how wonderful and brilliant my research has been, how I'm doing groundbreaking academic work that will change the face of the world as we know it today.

After my experience presenting the proposal for this dissertation, I know a little of what to expect:

• First of all, the conference room will be located about 300 miles away from where I have to park. This will be after driving 2 1/2 hours to actually get to the campus.
• Once I make it to the room, I will be a puddle of sweat and wrinkles, yes, even in Oct. or Nov. because this is Florida and I will be very (very) nervous.
• Next, I'll need to set up my laptop, which of course will not work, and eventually, I'll have to turn to plan B and use the hand-outs, which I had lugged across campus along with my laptop.
• Finally, I will give my presentation, talking way faster than I had anticipated and breathing heavily and sweating more, and I'll be asked a few questions that I can answer and a few that I will have no clue how to answer.

At this point, I have my draft finished and a lot of technical stuff to do to make sure it is formatted correctly and forms are filled out on time and such, but I can't help but consider, being the girly-girl that I am: What is a fat girl supposed to wear to a dissertation defense?

I will defnitely have to go shopping, which is going to suck. Hopefully, I'll get a few pounds off and at least down to the next size (which is still way bigger than I should be) by the time I have to hit the dreaded mall.

I'll be thinking of this while I go for a morning walk.

Bridget Jones

We watched Bridget Jones's Diary last night for the first time. I had seen bits and pieces of it on TV but never the whole movie, and one thing I was really surprised about what the fact that Rene Z. was supposed to have packed on a lot of weight for this role.

Now, I will admit she wasn't her normal teeny tiny self, but actually, she has a nice figure in this movie, and I couldn't help but wonder if those boobies came from the added weight or if it was just some Hollywood illusion going on, a special bra perhaps?

To add a little more confusion, the character writes in her diary that she is 136 lbs, which is I guess supposed to be huge. Now, sure, that is more than most people her height (which I think is around 5' 3") would like to weigh, but I was under the impression with all the Hollywood hub bub about her weight, that the character would be much heavier.

I thought Bridget was supposed to be a fact chick.

Instead, she was an adorable 30 something with a nice rack. Not skinny, but cute and, I thought, attractive.

Here's a picture of Rene as her regular skinny self. Cute, maybe even elegant, but not sporting exactly the same set of cha-chas as she did in the movie.

Advice from an Anorexic

I was talking to C. the other day, actually in reverse roles as I was giving her the pep talk for a change. She hasn't lost any more weight and knows it is because she's just eating more than she should. Now, back tracking here, she looks fabulous (which is what I told her among other things). But, she wants to get down to a size 4 and as she puts it she's a "fat size 6."

Now to me, "fat" and "6" don't actually go together, but she is a good deal shorter than I am, so I agree to be considered really thin versus normal size, 4 is probably a good size for her.

As we were talking, the subject of a friend of hers who lost a bunch of weight quickly (about 15 lbs in a month or so) came up and about how this woman was always able to get the weight off really quickly once she slipped a little. When C. asked her how she did it, not surprisingly she confessed to cutting back to about 1200 calories a day, exactly what C. told me NOT to do.

Furthermore, she told C. that one thing she found helpful were portein bars because she is so hungry that during the night she wakes up repeatedly. When she does so, she takes a few bits of a protein bar and is able to go back to sleep.

Now ignoring the part that someone is so hungry it wakes them up more than once during the night, we realized her protein bar idea had some possibilities. My "squeezing the banana" post is not an usual situation for me. Granted, I rarely get sick like this, but I'm sure I'm like most people when there are days where I'm running around and that usually equates (for me) to eating crap. Hell, a good 20lbs of what I need to lose I can say came from my years of commuting to school. It's nearly impossible to drive and eat salad. Now, french fries are a great driving food.

Protein bars are great for days when I'm working, but I need to run home and take the dogs out real quickly. With all the driving, there's no time to really eat. They would also be handy for the evenings when you may feel like munching all night. Protein bars are really filling, so they may curb that a little.

I bought just a few to try because of my delicate palette, and they taste okay. So far, I've tried the Atkins - Advantage Bar, which was about 220 calories and 19g of protein, and the Pria bar, which was a little smaller and 110 calories and 5g of protein. Yesterday, I used one while running around to get me through lunch and later had some fruit when I was able to sit and relax for a few minutes, and it filled me up but was only about a 300 calorie meal. So, not too bad.

I'll report back when I get some time to see if these help or not.

Don't Squeeze the Banana

My dad has this saying, "Don't squeeze the banana."

Basically, it means don't over do it. Because, just like squeezing a banana, you end up with a big mess.

I think last week I squeezed a little too much, and I'm still paying the price. So, I've decided to keep being careful about what I eat, but I'm going to try to take it a little easy when it comes to exercise and stuff right now.

It's week 4 and I still have a little cough and icky throat, achie legs, and I'm just plain tired. Last week I basically was so sick of being sick that I decided to just pretend like I wasn't. I cleaned like a nut, ran out to a few stores for things for the house and special food items for our guests, and this is in addition to all my regular writing work load.

This week I started pretty much at the same pace on Monday thinking I'd start up my walks again. I also spend the whole day banging away on my dissertation, so even though I knew I was tired, I just kept at it.

Finally, last night, I decided to say "Uncle" already. I didn't drink any wine, went to bed early, and today I let myself take a long nap, and I'm already starting to feel just a wee bit better.

Exhausted

Our company is gone now, and I'm still trying to recoup my energy level, which today seems none existant. I really had to drag myself out of bed this morning. I'm thinking of drinking another pot of tea, which at least has practically zero calories.

While entertaining we did a lot of eating, good food but bad for the diet. Ugh.

But, what is a host to do? Serve up a pile of lettuce with fat free dressing?

Today I'm back on it, though I'm easing into the exercise thing. Hopefully, I'll feel better tonight so I can go for a short walk. My house is still very (very) clean, but I miss my walks. Even with the 100 degree heat and 100 degree humidity, it feels good to move and get out of the house.

Groundbreaking Exercise Program!

Get a total body workout!

No special equipment or training needed!

Melt the pounds off of you!

This is my testimonial to a new workout program I've discovered called High Intensity Housework:

Like the average busy person, I clean, but I do maintenance type cleaning, the type you need to do on a weekly or so basis: laundry, vacuuming, etc. This is enough to keep the house livable, though not necessarily spotless as it definitely always looks lived-in.

With company coming this weekend, though, I had to shift gears into major cleaning or high intensity housework. For me, when I shift into this mode I start doing all kinds of wacky things like deciding to clean out the linen closet that is crammed full of stuff, odds and end of various sheets and towels that we have collected since moving in here about 8 years ago. Why do I have 20 pillow cases that no longer match any of our sheets? It's a mystery, and this is one of the many chores I find myself doing when I get into this kind of cleaning frenzy.

Since I start finding all these side jobs to do, I ended up making a lot more work for myself. What could be a one or two day cleaning turns into a week long grueling workout routine. And, of course, my guests are due to arrive any minute and I'm exhausted. All I can do is think about taking a nap, and as it so happens, my nap-buddy-kitty is now waiting for me right now, with a look of shock that I'm not snuggled up next to him.

On the up side to all this cleaning - other than having a super clean house where you could (at least at this moment in time before my husband comes in with his huge boots) eat off my kitchen floor - is that I feel like I've run a marathon. Every muscle in my body, back, legs, arms, ache. So, that must be good. At least, it is good in a sore owie kind of way.

My Fruit Mojo

While sick, I sort of lost of my fruit mojo. I was scarfing down 2 to 3 servings of fruit a day and loving it. But, of course, when I got sick, nothing tasted right except for crackers.

Today is my weekly shopping day, so I plan to pick up some much needed fruit. Our frig is so empty I actually had to clean it some, ick. When it's full, I don't see all those funky, sticky things that seem to some how appear on the bottom shelf.

I do have a little fruit in the house, but it's funny how you fall out of the habit. So, today I'm going to start the retraining effort. Instead of picking up a piece of bread (even if it is low fat and zero sodium), I'm going to pick up a piece of fruit.

It is Just So HOT!

Yesterday I did manage to go for my walk, just twenty minutes around this large circle of pavement in our neighborhood. It has been so hot, and of course, I am way out of shape and still fighting a tiny cough. I did do it, but then it took me awhile to recover afterwards. I was hot, shaking, and starving! Don't you hate that?!

Today, I'm planning on substituting house work for the walk, and actually, I'd much rather do the walk, but I have company coming this weekend, and I have to make the house look like it is spottless, like we live in a perfectly neat and tiny house every day of our lives. So, that means a lot of cleaning, mainly clutter. We are pack rats, both of us.

So, that's my exercise for the day. I will get a break though and have lunch with C. over at Crispers. Normally, I really love this place to eat because you can see into the kitchen and they have a lot of health (and not so healthy) food, but I just got on their web site to try to check the nutrients listings and of all things they do not list calories. What the hell? I sent them a snippy email. That is just idiotic to have all the other info, fat, carbs, fiber, and not calories.

Oh, the food thing went okay yesterday. I ended up with something like 1500 calories, though my sodium was way too high. I swear. To me, the sodium is much harder to get a handle on than the calories. I was a little hungry yesterday. My taste buds are still not totaly back to normal, and I haven't been to the store in awhile to stock up on fruit and other good things, so it was just hard for me to find something I wanted to eat that was good for me and located in my kitchen.

Boy, I could just keep writing and not go clean, but then I know it will be sitting here waiting for me when I return from lunch.

Back at It Today or Mondays Suck

No wonder everyone hates Mondays - It's the beginning of the work week and the day most of us start on our diets - And, today, that means me.

I've still got a tiny bit of a cough, just now and then, but I'm well enough to start walking and watching what I eat again. I plan on taking an edited version of what was my daily walk. I'm sure with this Florida heat (it was 76 degrees with, like 100% humidity, at 8:00 this morning) it will be a rough one, but with all the afternoon showers we've been having lately, it looks like I'm going to have to switch my walks back to the mornings.

I'm actually a little relieved to feel well enough to go at this again. I do miss my walks. It always feels good to get a little exercise, no matter how fat and forty I am. The eating thing, not so much fun, but at least I get the feeling I'm trying to do something about this extra tire around my ass.

I was talking with a woman at work the other day about dieting, and of course, I got the usual, "You look good. You don't need to lose weight." But, of course, this was coming from someone who really, really needs to lose weight. It is even affecting her health now in a major way, but she told me she didn't care. She was just going to eat what she wants and if she gains weight so what. Knowing her as I do, that didn't really surprise me that much, but I just can't feel the same way. I can't buy into the idea of liking your body no matter what. I liked being thin, wearing cute clothes, not having to worry about how I was going to get a zipper closed. I miss that, and I want it back, damn it!

So, I'm easing into the diet thing again, or the eating right thing since "diet" is supposed to be a dirty word. I have company coming at the end of the week, so that is going to be difficult, but right now I just need to think about today.

The Saga Continues

Yes, believe it or not it is Thursday and I'm still on the icky side. I'm still coughing, and the nose is still going somewhat a well.

To say that I'm sick of being sick by now is, well, not necessary to say, is it?

The only upside to still having some of this is that I'll get to share it with some of my coworkers tomorrow and the next few days. I've missed a few days of work, and I only work there 3 days a week, so of course, there's the usual grief people have to give you who hate you and don't believe you are really sick.

When I went into work on Sunday, which of course is a day very few people at the library other than myself work, I saw a nasty "sick again" sprawled across the schedule. The b* or should I saw robot who does the schedule and isn't my boss but think she should be had to write that because, well, she's a jealous old woman who has no life.

I actually had this horrible urge to lick or spit on her phone receiver. But, then, I thought, well, she's old and skinny and would probably get sick too and maybe she'd die so then that would make me a murder and I'd live the rest of my life knowing I killed someone, and that would not be good for me, so I didn't do it.

I'm sure when I go in tomorrow and see her laser-beam eyes shooting at me I will have wished I'd had. Just leave your desk for a few second old woman...that's all I need!

So, I'm still fat and eating way, way too many fish crackers.

On the Up Swing

I'm at the coughing, coughing, coughing stage now. According to C. I should be like this the rest of the week. I was feeling kind of good last night after a few hot toddies. (Check out DrinkStreet for a recipe.) I was pretty mello when I went to bed to say the least, and it did last for a few hours. But, sometime during the early morning hours I guess they wore off because it was back to hacking and coughing.

I've actually been sleeping in our guest room so my poor husband can get some sleep. At least someone is sleeping around here!

I can't believe I'm going to be like this the rest of the week, but after last week, I wouldn't be surprised. So, hopefully, a week from today I will be back on track.

Still Sick

It's Thursday and I'm still unbelievably sick. I can't remember the last time something hit me like this. I've heard it's been going around and that it's lasting 2 weeks, but come one! How much snot can one person's nose really hold?

I went ahead a weighed myself today and so far, I'm about the same. So, considering my diet has been wacko since Monday, that's okay.

What really bothers me is that my whole eating and excersie routine is gone and once I get better it will feel like I'm starting all over again. I started seriously walking January, and haven't take more than a day here or there off since then, so to not walk for almost a week now is very disturbing.

While I try to just get through this, I'm reading Hsien-Hsien Lei's new series on Hearty Habits over at A Hearty Life. You may see me mentioned over there once I get back to my routine. So far, she's got 2 installments:

Hearty Habit #1: Losing Weight
Hearty Habit #2: Water Weight

The Diet is Off!

I figured that would get some attention.

Actually, temporarily the diet isn't going so well because I am sick. And it sucks. Being sick sucks.

The night before last I woke up about 3am with a tickle in my throat. By the time I got up for good, it was a full blown soar throat.

When I'm like this, I am really not into eating anything good for me. I crave salt and while I don't eat all day long, what I do eat is pretty much junk. I prefer Fresca and those little cheese crackers shaped like fish. That's about it.

I know it's wrong, but when your throat feels like you want to lodge an ice cube in it, fruit, vegies, and all the good things I've been eating just don't taste right.

I cancelled my lunch date with C. today. I have another lunch date tomorrow with a friend who is moving out of the state, so I really feel like I have to go to that. The good news is she's in the mood for Thai, which is loaded with salt, so I doubt I'll have trouble eating something. I just hope I don't get her sick. That would be some going away present, huh?