Off Liners

The day of leaving my crappy library job, I made sure to get emails of anyone I wanted to keep in touch with. Everyone said the usual like keep in touch and let's do lunch and we will miss you, so I figured I'd get their emails and just do that, keep in touch.

Of course, I'm on the net just about all day because that's where the majority of my work comes from. I write for three web networks and teach two English classes on the net. So, email is my way to connect to the outside world. I even turn off the ringer on my phone unless I'm expecting a call because I don't want to get interrupted to yap with a friend who doesn't understand working at home is, well, work, or some guy who wants to sell me a water softener.

I'm trying to load up skype now, in fact, so that would mean even fewer phone calls. If my stupid firewall would just chill, I'll be in business.

But there are some weird people in this world who don't use email. Some of them even have emails, but they never check them. Or, like one friend of mine from the library, she sets up free email accounts and then forgets to check them until months later, so they are gone by then and she has to start all over again.

Now, if I call any of my library buds on the phone or they call me, they feel free to talk for as long as they like, telling me the same old stuff: work sucks, nothing has changed there, they miss me, I'm so lucky I got out of there, and work sucks.

I reply with the usual as well: nothing is going to change there, get out while you can, did you check so-and-so is hiring, and nothing is going to change there.

This has been particularly frustrating lately because I'm trying to set up a time to meet them for lunch before school starts because I know then it will probably be close to impossible to do that since I'll be in the classroom 2-3 days a week and teaching on the web as well as still doing my writing gigs. I can't possibly call each individual person to schedule something like this, as they all work different schedules which change weekly, so I'm trying to do it via email.

A few have replied, but my friend with the continually new email hasn't (though she claims she emailed me already...poor thing), one email bounced back due to a spam filter, and the rest, nada. I just don't get why people ask you to email them, and then never check their email.

The whole off-line world is become more and more bizarre to me.
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Pasta Diet

Someone sent me this via email, and I thought it was funny.

ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !!
1. You walka pasta da bakery.
2. You walka pasta da candy store.
3. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.
4. You walka pasta da table and fridge.

You will lose weight!
And...
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

> >> >CONCLUSION> >> >

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Middle Age? Moi?

Today I was working at my crappy library job (from now on referred to as CLJ), and the other librarian working in reference with me started telling me a story.

R. just moved to the area recently from Hawaii and was proceeding to tell me how rude she thought people were around here. (This, BTW, does not include the rude members of the reference staff at this particular CLJ, which poor thing has also been shocked to discover after only working here a month.)

Of course, typical true Floridian that I am, I tried to blame most of the bad behavior on Yankees who are transplants down here and don't know any better. Everything is better up in New York or Wherever, etc. etc. And they enjoy telling us poor, stupid Floridians this at any possible occasion.

So, R. continues to illustrate her point and begins with, "This lady, she was, you know, middle aged, around 40..."

I stopped her, "40! Middle aged!?"

"Yes," R. replied.

Then I went onto explain to this not even 30-something child that 40 is not middle age. That middle age doesn't even start until...er...50....er...no...55...yes...at least 55 before it even starts!

She looks at me like "oh, crap, she's just as crazy as my insane supervisor!" and then I explain to her that I'm 43. She tells me she thought I was in my 30s, apologizes, and continues.

But, I'm still a little rattled. I mean, really. People live into their 100s today, so no way is 40 middle age!

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